HIV tests are more positive than that guy
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
