wat bout pragnant strippers??
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
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