Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Randomize
