Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
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