Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
