I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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