Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize