people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
