I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
He better not be in your backpack
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
