and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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