tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize