New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
