So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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