I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
She said her name was "party"
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I have tasted many bathrooms
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
