toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Randomize
