made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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