Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Randomize
