If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
