my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize