i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
