But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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