Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize