do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
BRING THE BAGELS
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Randomize
