dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
