No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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