No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Randomize
