I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
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