You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
