Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
