Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
