i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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