we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
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