ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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