we have officially lost it.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Randomize
