You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
