Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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