that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize