Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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