i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
