Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
