just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Randomize
