3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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