She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
