it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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