I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
