Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Randomize
