this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
