Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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