There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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