you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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