i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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