Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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