yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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