I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Randomize