He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize