trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
They took my balls.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
