see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
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