is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
