My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
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