the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i was born a porn star she said
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Randomize