She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Randomize
