i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
