Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
